Do Androids Dream of Dick? Writings of a Queer Posthumanist

Poetry, Scholarship, & Musings

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  • poem WIP: <burnout>

    <working> on this <draft> to figure out if it is more than just <me> processing <my feelings> about dropping out of grad school and not sending poetry out to journals for <almost> a decade now. <i> always <wrote> the most when <i> was <unhappy / depressed>.

    now.
    happy-loved-wasted potential.

    the lines never stuttered when i was
    living on hot sauced drenched curly fries
    and extra-large, extra-sweet coffees,
    white knuckled and split lipped,
    trauma and guts spilling out to strangers in writing workshops
    winning scholarships, publishing poems.

    now.
    happy-loved-wasted potential.
    when was the last time you created?

    I don't know how to write joy.
    perhaps because it fled upon crossing home's threshold.
    or is it the other way around
    and i failed to narrate it into existence,
    neglecting the little sparks that collectively 
    build warmth even in the cold and filth.

    now.
    happy-loved-wasted potential.
    what comes to you in your space of comfort?

  • feelings <embodiment>

    In our culture, it can be easy to intellectualize our emotions, processing them in our mind, rather than feeling them with our bodies. What is a word or phrase you can say to yourself as a reminder to feel your emotions fully?

    this <question> appeared in one of the weekly newsletter the organization <i> <work / labor> for sends out. it’s <sitting / landing> with <me> a bit awkwardly. <i> <know> that <I> am really good at intellectualizing <my feelings> after the fact, but <i> needed to do some <reflecting> to think through <if / how> <i> <embody feelings> in the moment.

    as an <autistic being> who used to <over-embody> emotions as a child — <i> would cry for every single emotion — it took a lot of learning <regulation skills> to stop the instant <embodiment> of tears. there was a lot of <practice> in holding back until <i> was in a <comfortable / safe> place to let them out. now <i> <worry / fear> that <i> overcompensated. <i> can <feel / sense> the emotion <clinging> to <me> internally; and <they> are large and block <my> ability to <verbally communicate> until the intensity of them has <died> down.

    that said, <i> do find that <words> also fail in helping <me> <embody my emotions> enough to reach a place of <productive> communication. in order to <embody> <I> need to connect to <my body> via movement. deep breaths are the first step in <regulation>, followed by a movement that is based on what <emotion> is being worked through. <anxiety / uncertainty> can be eased through with rocking — standing or sitting — and fidgeting with <things>. <sadness / anger> usually work through my body faster if <i> do harder physical movement — <nothing> felt quite as nice as roller derby practice for working through the oscillating <anger / sadness> of <pms>. and for <happiness / joy> bouncing is <my> <unmasked embodiment>.

    if <i> had to use a <verbal> reminder to work through <my> <embodiment>, something like <move / un-still> might work. <i> will have to give it a <try>.

  • no <ai>

    Daily writing prompt
    Are there things you try to practice daily to live a more sustainable lifestyle?
    View all responses

    browsing through <some> of the responses already submitted to this prompt, <i> both folks doing what they can and folks in <disillusionment / despair> over how even collectively all <our> personal contributions will not make a difference in the face of <corpo> pollution.

    <i> want to offer a yes <and / but>

    maybe <our> reduce, reuse, recycle, repurpose efforts are miniscule. but <abstaining / boycotting> the use of <generative ai> does have a clear and high impact.

    the united nations reports that <generative ai> may <soon> consume more six times more water than denmark. and mit reports that 4.4% of energy in the <us> is used by <data centers>.

    it’s a <lot> of energy used for <emails / articles / graphics / photographs> that could be created by <humans> instead.

ABout

electric.dick is a <queer>, <trans>, anarcho-posthumanist who grew up in San antonio, tx.

<they> are a grad school <dropout> trying to rediscover what made <them> excited about <poetry, art, and writing>.

<they> spend <their> days working in positions that allow <them> to be an activist for equity and inclusion. in <their> <free time> <they> create blackout <poetry>, <write> and collage zines, plot out TTRPGS, try to <urban homestead>, read a lot of chuck tingle, comics, and queer sci-fi, make shitty glitch graphics, and play a lot of indie video games (especially ones with robots, unhumans, cats, or un-serious dating sims).

their <corporeal form> resides in the PNW with <their> partner, cats, bin of vermiculture, and houseplants.

<you> can find some of <their> zines at their itch.io page.